Dramatic Monologue

Look at me now.
Never in all my wildest dreams.
I never thought I’d end up this way.
How did I get here?
So badly I want to return.
I miss soma holidays.
Pope gave me mescal.
It’s not the same.
It makes you feel so sick with the peyotl.
Just so ashamed the next day.
Soma is pleasure.
Never to be seen again.

I’m a mother now.
A thing unheard of .
They would never accept me.
I love my son.
Oh Ford, Ford, Ford, he was such a comfort to me.
Yet, the Malthusian Drill.
It’s not my fault.
I did it by numbers.
Something just happened.
But things should be different.
I should be beautiful.
I should live there.
I should have soma.
I’m old and fat.
Covered in wrinkles
No teeth.
They would never accept me now.
Nobody here understood.
I tried explaining it to John.
How could he understand?
He’s never learned of science.
The Beta Embryo-Store Workers Guide.
Only source to civilization.
There was so much I didn’t know.
How would I answer John?
‘Who made the world?’
‘How do helicopters work?’
I didn’t know.
Women here didn’t understand either.
They beat me and hated me.
Whipped me and hit me.
I didn’t know why.
I continued my practices
They all said I stole their men.
I just played with them.
Red flowing
Like the light in the room for all embryos.
There are rules there.
Science and organization.
Chemicals and social classes.
‘Civilization is Sterilization.’
‘Streptocock-Gee to Banbury- T,
to see a fine bathroom in W.C.’
‘Alpha children wear grey.
They work much harder than we do,
because they’re so frightfully clever.
I’m really awfully glad I’m a Beta,
because I don’t work so hard.
And then we are much better
than the Gammas and the Deltas.
Gammas are stupid.
They all wear green,
and Delta children wear khaki.
Oh no, I don’t want to play with Delta children.
And Epsilons are still worst.
They’re the stupidest of all.’
I’m a Beta.
I worked in the Fertilizing Room.
Ohhh Ford how badly I want to go back.
A call for me
Visitors entered.
They came from the World State.
How beautiful they were.
So young and beautiful.
The look she gave me.
I disgusted her.
I was something she had never seen before.
But she was beautiful.
The acetate silk!
The viscose velveteen shorts!
Reminded me of my old clothes.
They are tucked away.
Never to be worn again.
I told them my story.

-Linda

Brave New World